My Personal Tax Nightmare

From Vice Prisoner candidate Sarah Palin’s convention speech:

The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes and raise payroll taxes and raise investment income taxes — (boos) — and raise the death tax — (boos) — and raise business taxes — (boos) — and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars. (Boos.)

I just had a waking nightmare. I dreamt it was January 2009 and an Obama administration is just sworn in. After I buy my double-tall nonfat latte, the barista yells “Coffee Tax!” and takes a big gulp of my coffee before handing it to me. On the way to work, driving along Elliott Avenue, a police officer waves me over to the side of road and yells “Car Tax!” through my open window and forces me to drive him to the Federal Building before continuing on. Later, at work, a co-worker grabs my iPhone, yells “Phone Tax!” and dials his baby momma for a few minutes. During code reviews, a developer walks in and yells “Syntax Tax!” and deletes all the right brackets from 34% of my C# code. At lunch, the customer behind me in line yells “Sandwich Tax!” and takes a bite of my ham-and-swiss. Later, in the toilet, my boss sticks his head under the stall, yells “Poop Tax!” and …. well, you get the idea. These dirty Democrats, if elected, will inculcate a culture of such extreme taxation that nothing, not even the very poop in my bowels, will be immune from their grasping tax schemes.

(inspiration for this post came from The 3-Legged Man)


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